Ever left speechless on these tough conversations about social issues? Ever think afterwards, why didn\u2019t I say that? Well, here are six questions for your conversational toolkit.<\/p>\n
Last week, at a gathering of strategists on some tough cultural issues, a very good point was made: Sometimes the right question at the right time is the best way to have a conversation with someone with whom you fundamentally disagree.<\/p>\n
I couldn\u2019t agree more, especially when the topic is something like same-sex marriage, religious freedom, or bathrooms at Target \u2014 when you know that to have an opinion counter to the new cultural orthodoxy is to be thought of as hateful or intolerant.<\/p>\n
Our temptation is to think, \u201cOh, they won\u2019t listen.\u201d Maybe they won\u2019t, but I think more times than we think, we can have conversations that are actual conversations. Sometimes we\u2019re afraid we won\u2019t know enough. Maybe that\u2019s true, but in addition to basic knowledge, there are also skills for having these conversations that we can all acquire.<\/p>\n
And one of these skills is being a good question asker. The power of asking questions is seen clearly in the two greatest educators of all time: Socrates and Jesus. Both men were master teachers. Both men knew most (and in the case of Jesus, all) the answers. Both men had a unique ability to lead others to those answers. And both men were great questioners.<\/p>\n
Here are six questions I\u2019ve found extremely helpful to create the sort of dialogue we should desire about issues of faith and culture.<\/p>\n
First, What do you mean by that? The battle of ideas is always the battle over the definition of words . Thus, it\u2019s vital in any conversation to clarify the terms being used. For example, the most important thing to clarify about whether same-sex marriage should be legal is the definition of marriage. So when the topic comes up, ask, \u201cHold on, before we go too far into what kind of unions should be considered marriage, what do you mean by marriage?\u201d Often, when it comes to these crucial issues, we\u2019re using the same vocabulary as those with whom we disagree, but not the same dictionary.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s a second question: How do you know that is true? Too often, assertions are mistaken for arguments . There\u2019s a vast difference between the two. An assertion is a definitive statement made about the nature of reality. An argument is presented to back up an assertion. By asking \u201chow do you know that\u2019s true?\u201d you\u2019ll move the conversation beyond two people merely asserting what they believe to why those assertions should be taken seriously.<\/p>\n
For example, it\u2019s still repeated that ten percent of any population is gay or lesbian, and that there\u2019s a gay teen suicide epidemic. The first stat is based on the flawed research of Alfred Kinsey, and the second has been deeply challenged by a pro-gay researcher.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s a third question is Where did you get this information? Once arguments are offered, it\u2019s important to ensure the arguments are valid . For example, news reports love to shout that same-sex parents are better parents than straight couples \u2014 a talking point that\u2019s based on very limited studies, while other studies suggest the exact opposite.<\/p>\n
The fourth question: How did you come to this conclusion? Behind the person you are talking with and his\/her convictions, is a story, a personal story. If you know that story, it may make more sense why they don\u2019t find your views plausible. Plus, it\u2019ll help you remember the person you\u2019re talking with is a real, image-of-God bearing person.<\/p>\n
The final two questions: What if you\u2019re wrong? a nd What if you\u2019re right? Ideas have consequences that are always worth considering. For example, with so little evidence, what if it\u2019s wrong that kids just need loving parents, not a mom and a dad? That\u2019s a big risk to play with the next generation.<\/p>\n
Of course, if we\u2019re asking for reasons, so will our conversation partners. And at BreakPoint.org, we\u2019ve got a list of resources on these topics to help.<\/p>\n
________<\/p>\n
Copyright (c) 2016 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. “BreakPoint” is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ever left speechless on these tough conversations about social issues? Ever think afterwards, why didn\u2019t I say that? Well, here are six questions for your conversational toolkit. Last week, at a gathering of strategists on some tough cultural issues, a very good point was made: Sometimes the right question at the right time is the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1193,2637,2639,2640,2638,456,1075],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6920"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6920"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6920\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6920"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6920"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6920"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}