A recent report on MSNBC suggested that parents\u2019 pre-occupation with their kids\u2019 self-esteem may have produced \u201crude\u201d children who lack compassion for others.<\/p>\n
According to MSNBC, \u201cmany experts say today\u2019s kids are ruder than ever.\u201d The word \u201crude\u201d encompasses a variety of behaviors, from selfishness to deliberate malice. In one example, a pre-schooler deliberately tripped a woman in a crowded restaurant and then bragged to her mother about it. In another, a child continuously insults his mother in front of his mortified grandmother.<\/p>\n
In both cases, the parent neither says nor does anything.<\/p>\n
Apparently, these aren\u2019t isolated instances: a 2005 Yale University study found that \u201cpreschool students are expelled at a rate more than three times that of children in grades K-12 because of behavioral problems.\u201d<\/p>\n
It isn\u2019t only preschoolers. The media has documented the behavior in the workplace of those born between 1980 and 1996. Words used to describe the behavior of the so-called \u201cGeneration Y\u201d include \u201cself-centered\u201d and \u201carrogant.\u201d As one management professor put it, \u201cThey don\u2019t know when to shut up.\u201d And having grown up questioning their parents, they now question their bosses.<\/p>\n
Whether or not today\u2019s kids are actually \u201cruder than ever,\u201d the article and others like it reflect the sense that something has gone wrong in the way we raise our children. Specifically, it has to do with \u201cpopular parenting movements focusing on self-esteem.\u201d<\/p>\n
These movements produce parents who \u201c[respond] with hostility to anyone they perceive as getting in the child\u2019s way.\u201d By \u201cgetting in the child\u2019s way,\u201d they mean doing anything that might make the child feel less-than-wonderful about him or herself \u2014 in the classroom, among their peers, or on the playing field.<\/p>\n
So today we have a generation of children who believe that the world revolves around them and that they are entitled to feel good about themselves.<\/p>\n
Expecting children raised this way to be compassionate or even polite betrays a profound ignorance of human nature \u2014 the same ignorance that led to the \u201cpopular parenting movements\u201d that created the mess in the first place.<\/p>\n
These movements were inspired by the ideas of Romantic Enlightenment thinkers like Jean-Jacques Rousseau. According to Rousseau, \u201cThere is no original perversity in the human heart.\u201d So, he says, \u201cwhen children\u2019s wills are not spoiled by our fault, children [desire] nothing uselessly.\u201d So parents and teachers should strive to produce children who are \u201cauthentic, self-sufficient, and autonomous.\u201d<\/p>\n
According to E.D. Hirsch, this Romantic ideal that \u201ceach person has a natural and uniquely divine spark, which, if nurtured, cannot go wrong,\u201d is behind the emphasis on self-esteem. The problem, as Hirsch points out, is that there is no proven connection between high self-esteem and actual achievement.<\/p>\n
In other words, feeling good about yourself isn\u2019t enough to make you good. You have to be taught right from wrong and made to feel bad when you deserve it. As the Scripture says, true parental devotion includes the willingness to correct our children.<\/p>\n
The alternative isn\u2019t \u201cauthenticity\u201d \u2014 it\u2019s spoiling their wills in the worst possible way.<\/p>\n
________<\/p>\n
Copyright (c) 2009 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. “BreakPoint with Chuck Colson” is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A recent report on MSNBC suggested that parents\u2019 pre-occupation with their kids\u2019 self-esteem may have produced \u201crude\u201d children who lack compassion for others. According to MSNBC, \u201cmany experts say today\u2019s kids are ruder than ever.\u201d The word \u201crude\u201d encompasses a variety of behaviors, from selfishness to deliberate malice. In one example, a pre-schooler deliberately tripped […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2401,169,2403,604,2402,1798,2127,1527],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6806"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6806"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6806\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6806"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6806"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6806"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}