Protecting young people from emotional harm is a noble aim, but have we gone a bit overboard?<\/p>\n
Maybe you\u2019ve heard that phrase \u201ckilling them with kindness\u201d? According to some, that may be what our culture is doing to today\u2019s college students, at least psychologically.<\/p>\n
Peter Gray, a research professor at Boston College, sees what he calls \u201cdeclining student resilience.\u201d At one major university, \u201cemergency calls to counseling had more than doubled over the past five years. Students are increasingly seeking help for, and apparently having emotional crises over, problems of everyday life.\u201d<\/p>\n
Gray said that one student felt traumatized because her roommate had called her a nasty name. Two others sought counseling because they\u2019d seen a mouse in their off-campus apartment. They called the police, who, he says, \u201ckindly arrived and set a mousetrap for them.\u201d The Atlantic calls this kind of thing \u201cthe coddling of the American mind.\u201d<\/p>\n
Many of these emotionally stunted students can\u2019t handle a bad grade, and their professors live in fear of negative student reviews or lawsuits. Or as one director of counseling said, \u201cThere has been … a decrease in the ability of many young people to manage the everyday bumps in the road of life.\u201d<\/p>\n
What\u2019s going on? Dan Jones, the past president of the Association for University and College Counseling Center Directors, points at parents, saying, \u201c[Students] haven\u2019t developed skills in how to soothe themselves, because their parents have solved all their problems and removed the obstacles. They don\u2019t seem to have as much grit as previous generations.\u201d<\/p>\n
In other words, there\u2019s been way too much helicopter parenting!<\/p>\n
Cameron Cole, a youth pastor in Alabama, knows that overly protecting our kids isn\u2019t biblical. Pain, after all, is part of spiritual growth. \u201cOn Jesus\u2019s way to redeeming the world he encountered betrayal, injustice, torture, violence, condemnation, imprisonment, and alienation,\u201d Cole writes. \u201cHow deluded I am when I think an alternate path exists for my child\u2019s \u2018hoped for\u2019 service to God\u2019s kingdom. He will not wear the crown … unless he bears a cross.\u201d [see HolwickID #64962]<\/p>\n
Too many kids take the easy path, which is the only path they\u2019ve ever known. They\u2019re afraid to fail so they avoid risk at all costs. But our faith teaches us risky obedience to God, knowing He\u2019s in control.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m reminded of this point every time I speak with my friend Naghmeh Abedini, the wife of imprisoned pastor Saeed. Jesus said, \u201cI\u2019m with you always.\u201d And let\u2019s not forget, \u201cNothing shall be impossible.\u201d So let\u2019s share this bracing perspective with our sons and daughters, and live by it.<\/p>\n
And let\u2019s not forget that college students in former generations followed this God of the impossible. In 1886, Dwight L. Moody presided over a meeting of 251 college students in Massachusetts. They came from all over the country, and eventually an interest grew in foreign missions. As ChristianHistory.net reports, one of the students, Robert Wilder, organized a meeting for all of those interested in missions, and 21 young people showed up. He later wrote, \u201cSeldom have I seen an audience under the sway of God\u2019s Spirit as it was that night. The delegates withdrew to their rooms or went out under the great trees to wait on God for guidance.\u201d<\/p>\n
When the conference was over, 100 students had committed themselves to become overseas missionaries. It was the start of a movement that saw tens of thousands of people carry the gospel around the globe. Is such a passion still conceivable for us?<\/p>\n
Yes! But the key is what I learned in my years of teaching teens and college students: Remove the bubble wrap. And like Moody, encourage them toward a God-sized vision for their lives. Help them see their giftedness and how it relates to the needs in their world, so that they can pursue their role in God\u2019s restoration of all things under the lordship of Christ.<\/p>\n
And as their leaders, parents, and mentors we need to give them permission to try … and room to fail.<\/p>\n
Resources<\/p>\n
Declining Student Resilience: A Serious Problem for Colleges
\nPeter Gray | psychologytoday.com | September 22, 2015
\n< https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/blog\/freedom-learn\/201509\/declining-student-resilience-serious-problem-colleges ><\/p>\n
There Is No Crown Without a Cross for Your Kids
\nCameron Cole | thegospelcoalition.org | October 1, 2015
\n< http:\/\/www.thegospelcoalition.org\/article\/there-is-no-crown-without-cross-for-your-kids >
\n[See HolwickID #64962]<\/p>\n
Mobilizing a Generation for Missions
\nMichael Parker | Christianhistory.net | August 6, 2009
\n< http:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/ch\/bytopic\/missionsworldchristianity\/mobilizinggenerations.html ><\/p>\n
The Coddling of the American Mind
\nGreg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt | The Atlantic | September 2015
\n< http:\/\/www.theatlantic.com\/magazine\/archive\/2015\/09\/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind\/399356\/ ><\/p>\n
A Warning about Trigger Warnings: The Dangers of Protective Vindictiveness
\nJohn Stonestreet | BreakPoint.org | August 26, 2015<\/p>\n
Missions in the Third Millennium
\nStan Guthrie, Jonathan Bonk | Paternoster Publishing | December 2001<\/p>\n
________<\/p>\n
Copyright (c) 2015 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. “BreakPoint” is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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