Paul Asay, of Dads Matter , notices that father figures are often the subjects of Oscar nominated movies, \u201cFathers matter, these movies tell us. How dads do their jobs has a huge impact on their children \u2014 for good or ill. And very often, dads don\u2019t do their jobs very well. And yet, the need for Dad \u2014 the desire for his love and approval \u2014 rarely goes away.\u201d He illustrates:
\n The first Oscars telecast I ever watched was in 1982, when I was 12 years old. I was personally rooting for Raiders of the Lost Ark that year, but On Golden Pond [the story of a father and his daughter who spend dedicated time on the waters of Golden Pond, forcing them to work through their strained, unhappy relationship] was up for a bunch of awards, too, including Best Picture, Best Actor, for Henry Fonda and best Supporting Actress for Henry\u2019s daughter, Jane.<\/p>\n
Henry won, and Jane bounded to the stage to accept the award for her absent father.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Dad,\u201d she said, overwhelmed, \u201cI\u2019m so happy, and so proud for you.\u201d … There was quite a backstory behind those 10 words.<\/p>\n
Henry Fonda had been one of Hollywood\u2019s leading men for five decades … but he\u2019d never won an Oscar. By 1982, meanwhile, daughter Jane had already won two….<\/p>\n
The two famous Fondas never had a warm relationship. Henry was not an outwardly affectionate man, Jane says, and Jane\u2019s political activism [infamous for her support of the communist regime during the Vietnam War] strained their affections almost to the breaking point. In many ways, their relationship resembled what audiences saw onscreen.<\/p>\n
Jane bought the rights to On Golden Pond as a star vehicle for her father … She mentions in the interview that Henry Fonda died just five months after receiving his Oscar. Giving it to him, she says, was \u201cone of the happiest moments of my life.\u201d [1]
\nDads Matter. \u201cHenry Fonda mattered so much to Jane,\u201d says Asay,\u201d that she bought a movie for him and cast herself beside him, just so she could say the things she was desperate to say. They tried to heal wounds through scripted words, finding real-world solace behind the safety of fiction.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dads, don\u2019t frustrate your children. Don\u2019t make them hide \u201cbehind the safety of fiction,\u201d or \u201cscripted words.\u201d<\/p>\n
Be the kind of dad that readily invites honest, transparent communication with your children. After all, they may not have the luxury of fame and fortune to be able to buy the rights to a movie in order to vicariously work through their issues with you.<\/p>\n
Find your own \u201cGolden Pond.\u201d Go there with your child, and intently listen … really listen … to their hearts. You won\u2019t win an Oscar for Best Actor, but you just might win Best Father in a reality series!
\n \u201cFathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord\u201d (Ephesians 6:4).<\/p>\n
\u201c … Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry\u201d (James 1:19).
\n ________<\/p>\n
1. \u201cFather Oscar: What the Academy Awards Can Teach About Fatherhood\u201d by Paul Asay, posted DadsMatter.org, retrieved 5\/14\/15. Paul Asay (@AsayPaul) is a contributor for Dads Matter and a senior associate editor for PluggedIn.com.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Paul Asay, of Dads Matter , notices that father figures are often the subjects of Oscar nominated movies, \u201cFathers matter, these movies tell us. How dads do their jobs has a huge impact on their children \u2014 for good or ill. And very often, dads don\u2019t do their jobs very well. And yet, the need […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[169,1922,3684,2197,3685,3686,1444],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6125"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6125"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6125\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}