{"id":5954,"date":"2019-09-30T04:11:17","date_gmt":"2019-09-30T04:11:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/churchedge.com\/illustrations\/index.php\/2019\/09\/30\/i-will-kill-myself-and-beet-you-up\/"},"modified":"2019-09-30T04:11:17","modified_gmt":"2019-09-30T04:11:17","slug":"i-will-kill-myself-and-beet-you-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/i-will-kill-myself-and-beet-you-up\/","title":{"rendered":"I Will Kill Myself and Beet You Up"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Here is the entire text of a love letter intercepted by a second grade schoolteacher, passed on to a parent, who passed it on to me:<\/p>\n<p>    Dear Billy, if you dont say you love me and walk to the bus top<br \/>\n    with me I will kill myself and beet you up.  I love you and wan<br \/>\n    to marry you soon.  Suzy<\/p>\n<p>The little girl was eight at the time.  The parent showed me the letter at the rehearsal dinner the day before Suzy married Billy.  Suzy was twenty-four.  During the wedding service, I shared the letter with the guests, and in her vows, had Suzy repeat to me: \u201cI, Suzy, promise you, Billy, never to kill myself or beat you up.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If the marriage lasts as long as her love, and her love is as large as the laughter in the ceremony, the odds are good for a happy ever after.<\/p>\n<p>________<\/p>\n<p>By a minister in Bellevue, Washington, as told to R.F.<\/p>\n<p>Submitted by Kimberley Broyles<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here is the entire text of a love letter intercepted by a second grade schoolteacher, passed on to a parent, who passed it on to me: Dear Billy, if you dont say you love me and walk to the bus top with me I will kill myself and beet you up. I love you and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3416,68,53,3417],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5954"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5954"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5954\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5954"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5954"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5954"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}