A thankful heart comes easy for many Americans. Even those whose circumstances provide reasons for sorrow and hurt can find something for which to express gratitude.<\/p>\n
In her book, \u201cA Thankful Heart,\u201d Carole Lewis offers her testimony of how God can cultivate thanksgiving every day of the year, bringing hope and healing that lasts into eternity.<\/p>\n
\u201cOften, the holidays are very depressing times for families as we\u2019re tempted to key in on their dysfunction, critical spirits and anger problems. Every family\u2019s got them,\u201d said Lewis, national director of First Place, a Christian weight-loss program that grew out of First Baptist Church in Houston.<\/p>\n
\u201cSometimes it seems like there are more bad moments than good in life,\u201d she writes in her book. \u201cThe problem is that if we don\u2019t stop and take a clear look at our perceptions of these situations, pretty soon we find that we have bitter, negative experiences all day long. Soon enough, having negative experiences all day long turns into having negative experiences every day, every year, every decade.\u201d<\/p>\n
From dealing with traffic to feeling overwhelmed with work to suffering from illness and disease, Lewis writes, \u201cIt is easy for even the ordinary irritations of life to build into occasions for continual grumbling and dissatisfaction.\u201d Over time, \u201cWe wake up and discover that these experiences have transformed us. It isn\u2019t the situations that are negative now — it\u2019s us. We\u2019ve become bitter, negative people,\u201d she observes, adding, \u201cAnd we hate who we\u2019ve become.\u201d<\/p>\n
Negative attitudes eventually spill over to one\u2019s health and well-being as the mind and body communicate with each other, she writes. \u201cI\u2019ve found it to be a simple truth — when I do not practice developing a thankful heart, the person this hurts the most is me.<\/p>\n
\u201cGripe about your job for a week and see how long you stay employed. Or snap at your husband every night when he comes home and see what sort of marriage it produces. It\u2019s in our best interest to not fall into the trap of focusing on what\u2019s wrong with life. Becoming a thankful person is a benefit to our lives that we absolutely cannot overlook.\u201d<\/p>\n
If anyone could give a reason not to be thankful, it\u2019s Carole Lewis. She experienced financial devastation that led to bankruptcy, felt derailed in her own weight struggle due to health problems and continues to walk alongside her husband in his battle with stage four prostate cancer. But it was on Thanksgiving Day four years ago that Lewis faced the greatest challenge to a thankful heart.<\/p>\n
Her daughter, Shari, son-in-law Jeff and their three daughters had celebrated the holiday with the Lewis family before traveling to dinner with Jeff\u2019s family. As Shari stood behind their SUV, a drunk driver swerved from behind, ricocheted off a light pole and sent Lewis\u2019 39-year-old daughter into a field. A few hours later she died in a Houston hospital.<\/p>\n
Several years later Lewis was asked by her publisher to write a book on grief. \u201cI didn\u2019t have that in me. Undeniably, Shari\u2019s death has been the hardest thing our family has ever gone through,\u201d she said in an interview. \u201cThough the days following her death were full of pain for all of us, I can also say with thankfulness that they are not a blur.\u201d Lewis\u2019 own prayer journal relates 22 things for which she gave thanks in those days after the tragedy. Some are to be expected — the Christian friends who gathered at the hospital. Others are surprising — a granddaughter witnessing about Jesus to the young drunk driver. And some are amazing — Jeff\u2019s mom and brother accepting Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord one hour after Shari\u2019s death.<\/p>\n
\u201cI never dreamed that thankfulness might be one of the things God would use to heal the huge void left in my heart,\u201d Lewis wrote after pondering why she never experienced some of the stages of grief that are presumed to be a healthy response to such difficult times. Though she was shocked by her daughter\u2019s death and ultimately learned to accept it, Lewis said she anticipated the stages of denial, anger and bargaining, but never experienced them.<\/p>\n
\u201cCould thankfulness in the midst of a circumstance as shattering as the death of my child propel me from shock to acceptance without my having to experience the other three stages?\u201d she asked in the book. \u201cI know that people grieve in different ways and that everyone is different, but I have come to believe that being thankful in the midst of a tragic circumstance is the key to moving toward healing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Through her own journals, Lewis has been able to see how God answered prayer during the death of a sister and sister-in-law, her own surgeries and her husband\u2019s cancer, calling these her spiritual markers. \u201cI used to wonder how you could ever know the Lord\u2019s will,\u201d she reflected, \u201cbut I cannot get out of His will if I\u2019m walking with Him every day.\u201d<\/p>\n
Saved at the age of 12, Lewis admits in the book, \u201cI had pretty much run my life my way since that time and until it was totally shipwrecked.\u201d When poor money management, the loss of a business and ultimate bankruptcy turned her world upside down, God got her attention so dramatically that she finds herself grateful for the experience.<\/p>\n
\u201cWas I thankful at the time for the financial straits our family was in? Of course not!\u201d she writes. Yet, when she thinks of all the ways God has prospered her family since, she is more amazed than anyone. \u201cI am forever grateful for our money woes, because they were the vehicle that drove me to God,\u201d she recounts. Eventually, they recovered their credit rating, paid off debt, began to tithe and even saved for retirement.<\/p>\n
\u201cI believe our God is able to work absolute wonders on our behalf if we can learn to thank and praise Him in the middle of any stressful situation of life,\u201d Lewis writes. \u201cWhen we\u2019re not thankful, we tend to focus on what\u2019s wrong. When we focus on the muck and grime of stressful situations, we begin to grumble and complain — and that makes the situation appear worse than it actually is.\u201d<\/p>\n
Even as holiday gatherings bring to mind difficult relationships with family and friends, Lewis suggests learning to thank God for those people. \u201cInstead of our running from the difficult people in our life, God desires to change us first as we learn how to thank Him for our difficult person.\u201d In her own experience, Lewis has found God either heals the other person or moves them on to some other place.<\/p>\n
\u201cChances are, you didn\u2019t receive something you needed from certain family members, and you\u2019ve wasted a lot of time trying to receive that particular something from those people,\u201d she writes, adding that they \u201cmay not have a clue about your need.\u201d She suggests reversing the pattern: \u201cWe can get what we\u2019ve missed, not by grasping or clutching from those people, but by giving to them.\u201d<\/p>\n
With parents, a Christian can give the respect, courtesy and gentleness that was needed but never received, she writes. With spouses, admiration, encouragement and unconditional love should be offered. Parents can begin giving children the love, attention, boundaries and devotion they may never have received during their own growing-up years. \u201cI\u2019m talking about the type of lavish giving that expects nothing in return,\u201d she states.<\/p>\n
From 1 John 4:20, Lewis is reminded that if anyone says he loves God but hates his brother, he is a liar. \u201cOur love for God can be best seen in our love for people. If we don\u2019t love others, we don\u2019t love God. Those are strong words.\u201d<\/p>\n
Even in casual contact with other people, Lewis advocates speaking blessings on them. \u201cWhen someone cuts in front of us in traffic, we can ask God to bless him or her instead of railing against the person\u2019s lack of courtesy.\u201d We never know what other people are going through. By asking God to bless them, we are extending the same grace to them that God has extended to us.\u201d<\/p>\n
Through the loss of her own daughter, Lewis is even more convinced that \u201cfamily is the most precious commodity we have.\u201d Even when a person may not have caused an offense or separation, she encourages Christians to be \u201cthe sacrificial lamb\u201d in such relationships. \u201cBegin thinking about and watching for things in your family that you can be thankful for. Try not to key in on their dysfunctions,\u201d she advised. \u201cIf you\u2019ve got family members you\u2019re not speaking to, call or write them now. If we\u2019ve prayed about it, God\u2019s going to go before us and He can heal our families. He wants to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAs we begin practicing thankfulness today, God will begin an amazing transformation in our hearts,\u201d she writes, reflecting on 1 Thessalonians 5:18: \u201cGive thanks in all circumstances, for this is God\u2019s will for you in Christ Jesus.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lewis said her family has watched every year to see what God is going to do on Thanksgiving Day that is especially for them. \u201cWhen you lose a loved one on or near a holiday, it doesn\u2019t matter that it\u2019s always on a different day. It\u2019s always the holiday,\u201d she said. While it is never easy, she does feel it\u2019s getting easier. \u201cGod just got us through it and he\u2019s done that every year.\u201d For Lewis, thanksgiving is a heartfelt response.<\/p>\n
*<\/p>\n
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