The New York Times Magazine recently ran a stunning, moving piece about murder, justice and forgiveness.<\/p>\n
Three years ago, Kate and Andy Grosmaire received the kind of news that is every parent\u2019s worst nightmare: Their daughter, Ann, had been shot in the head by her fianc\u00e9e, Conor McBride.<\/p>\n
When Andy Grosmaire arrived at the hospital, he realized that unless God did something \u201cwondrous,\u201d Ann would not survive.<\/p>\n
Sadly, Ann ultimately died. But, nevertheless, before she did, something wondrous did happen. While he stood praying at his unconscious daughter\u2019s bedside, Grosmaire felt he heard Ann say \u201cForgive him.\u201d His initial response was to say \u201cNo way. That\u2019s impossible.\u201d But he continued to hear Ann say \u201cForgive him.\u201d<\/p>\n
When McBride\u2019s father arrived at the hospital, Andy Grosmaire hugged him and thanked him for coming, adding \u201cbut I might hate you by the end of the week.\u201d<\/p>\n
For reasons Andy still doesn\u2019t understand, Conor McBride listed Andy\u2019s wife Kate as one of the people allowed to visit him in jail. As she left to visit him, she asked her husband if he had a message for the man who had shot their daughter. Andy replied \u201ctell him I love him, and I forgive him.\u201d<\/p>\n
As extraordinary as that was, what Kate and Andy Grosmaire understood by forgiveness was not limited to words. After meeting the prosecutor prosecuting McBride, they realized that they had it in their power to affect the outcome of the trial. After meeting with Conor McBride, they asked that he receive a 10-to-15 year sentence.<\/p>\n
The prosecutor, sympathetic to the family\u2019s wishes but still representing the state\u2019s and community\u2019s interest, insisted that McBride serve twenty years — under Florida law he could have served a life sentence and may have been sentenced to death.<\/p>\n
The Grosmaire\u2019s pursuit of what Christians call \u201crestorative justice\u201d was not limited to reaching out to Conor McBride. Andy Grosmaire didn\u2019t wind up hating Conor\u2019s father. On the contrary, the experience brought the two families closer.<\/p>\n
The kind of forgiveness on display in this story is the antithesis of what Dietrich Bonhoeffer called \u201ccheap grace.\u201d The Grosmaires are all too aware of the damage McBride caused, and they still feel the pain that that damage inflicted. As Kate Grosmaire told the New York Times, \u201cforgiving Conor doesn\u2019t change the fact that Ann is not with us … I walk by her empty bedroom at least twice a day.\u201d<\/p>\n
Andy Grosmaire is equally clear-eyed about what happened: he rejects talk about \u201cGod\u2019s plan\u201d and sentimental drivel about God \u201cwanting another angel.\u201d<\/p>\n
So, why did they forgive their daughter\u2019s murderer? Because Andy Grosmaire realized that \u201cit was not just Ann asking [him] to forgive Conor, it was Jesus Christ.\u201d As Andy put it, \u201cI hadn\u2019t said no to him before, and I wasn\u2019t going to start then.\u201d<\/p>\n
Saying \u201cyes\u201d to forgiveness was the only way forward from this unimaginable loss. As Kate Grosmaire put it, \u201cConor owed us a debt he could never repay. And releasing him from that debt would release us from expecting that anything in this world could satisfy us.\u201d<\/p>\n
This kind of forgiveness is Christianity\u2019s greatest calling card. To be able to love those who have done you unimaginable harm and seek their good is truly wondrous.<\/p>\n
Other faiths speak about mercy and compassion. Some even urge you to \u201clet go\u201d of old wounds for your own sake. But Christians worship a savior who, even as he was unjustly executed, prayed for those who placed him on the cross and insists that those who profess his name love their enemies, not just their friends.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s what makes this kind of \u201cyes\u201d possible.<\/p>\n
________<\/p>\n
Copyright (c) 2013 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. “BreakPoint” is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The New York Times Magazine recently ran a stunning, moving piece about murder, justice and forgiveness. Three years ago, Kate and Andy Grosmaire received the kind of news that is every parent\u2019s worst nightmare: Their daughter, Ann, had been shot in the head by her fianc\u00e9e, Conor McBride. When Andy Grosmaire arrived at the hospital, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[527,17,1227,620],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5392"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5392"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5392\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5392"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5392"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.churchedge.com\/illustrations\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5392"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}