David Brooks, the insightful New York Times columnist, has been watching a lot of television lately – comedies, to be specific. Brooks has noticed a shift in how television treats friendship. \u201cFor most of television history,\u201d Brooks writes, \u201csitcoms have been about families.\u201d But now, Brooks observes, \u201cToday\u2019s shows are often about groups of unrelated friends who have the time to lounge around apartments, coffee shops and workplaces exchanging witticisms about each other and the passing scene.\u201d<\/p>\n
Brooks and other cultural critics say that this change to what are called \u201cflock comedies\u201d reflects a deeper cultural shift brought about by new technologies and trends such as extended adolescence. \u201cWith people delaying marriage and childbearing into their 30s,\u201d Brooks writes, \u201cyoung people now spend long periods of their lives outside of traditional families, living among diverse friendship tribes.\u201d<\/p>\n
The hit new movie, \u201cThe Social Network,\u201d chronicles the invention of one of these technologies, Facebook in 2003-that\u2019s right, two thousand and three. Think of how differently we communicated less than a decade ago! Today more and more people communicate with the outside world primarily through their laptops or cell phones. We all know people who have gathered hundreds of so-called \u201cFacebook friends\u201d-if not thousands of them.<\/p>\n
But as good and useful as these social-networking technologies can sometimes be, what are they doing to our concept of friendship? As has been said in other contexts, if our friendships are a mile wide, they are probably no more than an inch deep.<\/p>\n
According to an American Sociological Review study called \u201cSocial Isolation in America,\u201d as of 2004, the average American had just two close friends. That compares with three in 1985. Those reporting no close friends at all exploded from 10 percent in 1985 to 25 percent in 2004. Even the share of Americans reporting a healthy circle of four or five friends had fallen from 33 percent to just over 15 percent. And keep in mind that most of this decline took place before Facebook had really taken hold.<\/p>\n
Sure, Facebook may allow us to keep some kind of connection with friends and family with whom we find it hard to stay in touch in these busy times. But is a Facebook friend as good as a real friend? I think not. Referencing the biblical characters of Ruth and Naomi, David Brooks wisely notes, \u201cThroughout history, the most famous friendships were one on one.\u201d The Greek philosopher Aristotle said that close friends \u201cshare salt together.\u201d According to author Mark Vernon, they \u201csit with one another across the course of their lives, sharing its savor – its moments, bitter and sweet.\u201d<\/p>\n
Such friendships take time – both quality time and quantity time! They cannot be rushed, and they cannot be created virtually.<\/p>\n
So am I saying you should unplug your television set or power down your computer? Now, that\u2019s a tempting thought. But no, when it comes to developing the kinds of relationships that last, and that have a lasting impact, we would do well to emulate Jesus. The Savior, while relating to the multitudes, focused his time on twelve often thick-headed disciples, including an inner circle of three men-Peter, James, and John-one of whom, John, was called \u201cthe disciple whom Jesus loved.\u201d<\/p>\n
If we want to change the world and experience satisfying relationships, sometimes less really is more.<\/p>\n
________<\/p>\n
Copyright (c) 2010 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. “BreakPoint with Chuck Colson” is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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