When people believe marriage means anything, it ends up meaning nothing. I\u2019ll explain.<\/p>\n
Since time immemorial, marriage has meant the union of a man and a woman for life, usually for the purpose of raising children. But today marriage tends to mean just about any relationship you can think of \u2014 first so-called same-sex marriage, now polyamory, or even polygamy are said to be just as valid. But it doesn\u2019t stop there. So hold onto your cummerbund, because I\u2019ve got a new one for you.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s known as sologamy \u2014 marrying oneself. Or as Dr. Timothy George of Beeson Divinity School called it in a recent First Things article, \u201csame-self marriage.\u201d Dr. George, of course, was a close colleague of Chuck Colson and the past president of the Colson Center\u2019s Board of Directors.<\/p>\n
Although sologamy isn\u2019t a big trend yet (but then again, neither were other forms of \u201cmarriage\u201d), Dr. George points to several notable examples. Author Sara Sharpe wrote about her self-marriage bliss in her book \u201cA Dress, A Ring, Promises to Self.\u201d Meanwhile, Nadine Schweigert, from Fargo, North Dakota, \u201cmarried\u201d herself in a public ceremony. Listen to her vows: \u201cI, Nadine,\u201d she said, \u201cpromise to enjoy inhabiting my own life and to relish a lifelong love affair with my beautiful self.\u201d Now why would people do this?<\/p>\n
Dr. George explains: \u201cIn some ways same-self marriage is the logical outgrowth of what cultural critic Christopher Lasch described in his 1979 bestseller \u2018The Culture of Narcissism.\u2019 Lasch, building on Sigmund Freud\u2019s classic essay \u2018On Narcissism\u2019 of 1916, applied the term to the sense of grandiosity and excessive self-love that seem to mark not only psychologically disordered individuals but post-sixties American society as a whole.\u201d<\/p>\n
Perhaps that\u2019s why the word \u201cselfie\u201d is so revealing. We\u2019re a nation of narcissists.<\/p>\n
\u201cNarcissism,\u201d Dr. George goes on, \u201cis more than modern rugged individualism gone to seed. At its heart it\u2019s a spiritual disorder, what Martin Luther … and Augustine described as incurvatus in se , \u2018twisted back into one\u2019s self.\u2019 In our own era, we have seen the evisceration of those communities that sustain us during the most trying and difficult times. Chief among these is the family.\u201d<\/p>\n
This form of incurvatus in se is a sign of the sin and brokenness of our world. It\u2019s sin because we are our brother\u2019s keeper. God created us to love others and live in community. That\u2019s how we express and experience His love. So committing only to oneself is a form of brokenness.<\/p>\n
Lasch said that the cure for this narcissism \u201cappears to lie in a recognition of our need for and dependence on\u201d other people. Or, as Jesus said, love your neighbor as yourself.<\/p>\n
So how do we respond to our culture of narcissism? First, we need more compassion than sarcasm. This movement, if that\u2019s what it is, is a poignant reminder that people have longings, but don\u2019t know how to fulfill them. If they don\u2019t fulfill those longings in God and His Word, they\u2019ll search until they find something else that seems to work.<\/p>\n
Second, we need to confess that far too often our own marriages have not been a great picture of the real thing, and so people are drawn to counterfeits. Perhaps if our marriages were closer to what God wants, our lost neighbors might want this for themselves. And remember, Scripture says our marriages are supposed to model Christ and the church. So let\u2019s get our own homes in order.<\/p>\n
Third, we need to lovingly share the good things we have in our marriage with others \u2014 otherwise, how will they be drawn to the real thing? Marriage can be a wonderful tool to share God\u2019s love with a lost and hurting world. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer said to a newly married couple, \u201cIn your love, you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind.\u201d<\/p>\n
________<\/p>\n
Copyright (c) 2014 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. “BreakPoint” is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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