Question: My parents and I are Christians. They have told us children that we are not to go to dances and have never told us why we can’t.
Answer: You should obey your parents as you are commanded to do in Ephesians 6:1-3. This is especially true since you are a Christian.
Since I am no expert on dancing, I have no complicated opinions on the subject. However, I want to pass along some questions which you should ask yourself regarding dancing. They will help you in making up your own mind on the subject.
(1) Why do you suppose your parents take the attitude they do? Whenever possible, parents ought to take time to give reasons for their decisions. Your parents must have some opinions or questions concerning dancing even though they cannot explain them. When they set standards, they do it not because they hate you but because they love you.
(2) Do the Christians you know and trust dance?
(3) How many older, more mature Christians do you know who dance?
(4) Do you think you would be comfortable if you took Jesus with you to dance? Would you be happy if He came and found you there?
(5) What about the music? Does it lift you? Does it strengthen you morally or in any way? Does it build up or tear down your emotional life?
(6) Why do you want to go to a dance in the first place? What is there that would make a Christian want to go? What does it offer? What do you expect to get there that you will not get anywhere else? Do you think you will come away better or worse?
(7) Does what happen at the dance lend itself to proper Christian behavior after the dance?
(8) Would you feel you were a good influence as a Christian if you attended dances? Would you feel free to witness for Jesus Christ while there?
(9) How would you feel if your pastor, parents or your Sunday school teacher were there?
(10) There is also a set of spiritual guidelines which are simple but may be helpful to you in making your decision. In everything a Christian does, he should (a) do it to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31), (b) thank God that you can do it (Ephesians 5:20), (c) do it in the name of Jesus, as if He sent you to do it (Colossians 3:17), and (d) pray for God’s blessing and His guidance in all you do (Philippians 4:6, Philippians 4:7).
You need not feel it is necessary to explain why you do not go to dances now. We do many things we do not explain, just as we refrain from doing a lot of things without explanation. If you honestly feel this way, you might say, “My parents believe it is not best for me, and I appreciate my parents and want to please them.”
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