In 1993, when Oshea Israel was 16 years old, he was involved with gangs and drugs. One night at a party, he got into a fight with a 20 year-old Laramium Byrd, and shot and killed him. When Oshea was serving his term in Stillwater Prison, Laramium’s mom Mary Johnson requested a face-to-face meeting. He had denied many requests before, but he finally agreed to see her. Mary wanted to see if he was in the same mindset as before. Mary also wanted to talk about her son, to let him know that her son was real. Oshea listened.
By end of that meeting, she was overcome with emotion and fell apart. Oshea, not knowing what to do, simply held her and hugged her. Mary said to Oshea, “After you left the room, I began to say, ‘I just hugged the man that murdered my son.’ And I instantly knew that all that anger and the animosity, all that stuff I had in my heart for 12 years for you – I knew it was over, that I had totally forgiven you.” Mary’s forgiveness did not stop there. When he was released from prison in 2010, Mary and Oshea continued their relationship and now, the two live right next door to each other. They treat each other like mother and son. Mary said to Oshea, “My natural son is no longer here. I didn’t see him graduate. Now, you are going to college. I’ll have the opportunity to see you graduate and hopefully one day, to see you get married.” Oshea said to Mary, “Sometimes, I still don’t know how to take it, because I haven’t totally forgiven myself. It’s something that I’m learning from you.”
It is a process for the both of them, allowed by Mary’s daring forgiveness. Mary’s forgiveness has given Oshea another chance at living a different life, motivated to stay on track. Mary has let go of all the pain and anger and opened up to this new way of relating to her son’s murderer. Oshea is learning to let go of his past. Mary’s unimaginable forgiveness allowed both Mary and Oshea a chance at new life.
So much of forgiving is about letting go. Unless we let go of our anger and hurt by forgiving those who have wronged us, we will be stuck. We forgive others, not only because we have been forgiven, but also because in forgiving others, we become free ourselves. What pain, anger, and wounds are you holding on to? What or who do you need to let go, to experience the power of true forgiveness? Who do you need to forgive?
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Adapted from < http://storycorps.org/listen/mary-johnson-and-oshea-israel/ >
Original transcript at StoryCorps:
Mary Johnson (MJ): You and I met at Stillwater Prison. I wanted to know if you were in the same mindset of what I remembered from court, where I wanted to go over and hurt you. But you were not that 16-year-old. You were a grown man. I shared with you about my son.
Oshea Israel (OI): And he became human to me. You know, when I met you it was like, ok, this guy, he’s real. And then, when it was time to go, you broke down and started shedding tears. The initial thing to do was just try and hold you up as best I can–just hug you like I would my own mother.
MJ: After you left the room, I began to say: “I just hugged the man that murdered my son.” And I instantly knew that all that anger and the animosity, all the stuff I had in my heart for 12 years for you–I knew it was over, that I had totally forgiven you.
OI: As far as receiving forgiveness from you–sometimes I still don’t know how to take it because I haven’t totally forgiven myself yet. It’s something that I’m learning from you – I won’t say that I have learned yet – because it’s still a process that I’m going through.
MJ: I treat you as I would treat my son. And our relationship is beyond belief. We live next door to one another.
OI: Yeah. So you can see what I’m doing–you know first hand. We actually bump into each other all the time leaving in and out of the house. And, you know, our conversations, they come from “Boy, how come you ain’t called over here to check on me in a couple of days? You ain’t even asked me if I need my garbage to go out!”
MJ: Uh-huh.
OI: I find those things funny because it’s a relationship with a mother for real.
MJ: Well, my natural son is no longer here. I didn’t see him graduate. Now you’re going to college. I’ll have the opportunity to see you graduate. I didn’t see him getting married. Hopefully one day, I’ll be able to experience that with you.
OI: Just to hear you say those things and to be in my life in the manner that which [sic] you are is my motivation. It motivates me to make sure that I stay on the right path. You still believe in me. And the fact that you can do it despite how much pain I caused you–it’s like amazing.
MJ: I know it’s not an easy thing, you know, to be able to share our story together. Even with us sitting here looking at each other right now, I know it’s not an easy thing. So I admire that you can do this.
OI: I love you, lady.
MJ: I love you too, son.