I readily admit that forgiveness is unfair. Hinduism, with its doctrine of KARMA, provides a far more satisfying sense of fairness. Hindu scholars have calculated with mathematical precision how long it may take for one person’s justice to work itself out: for punishment to balance out all my wrongs in this life and future lives, 6,800,000 incarnations should suffice.
Marriage gives a glimpse of the karma process at work. Two stubborn people live together, get on each other’s nerves, and perpetuate the power struggle through an emotional tug-of-war. “I can’t believe you forgot your own mother’s birthday,” says one.
“Wait a minute, aren’t you supposed to be in charge of the calendar?” “Don’t try to pass the blame to me – she’s your mother.”
“Yes, but I told you just last week to remind me. Why didn’t you?”
“You’re crazy – it’s your own mother. Can’t you keep track of your own mother’s birthday?”
“Why should I? It’s your job to remind me.”
The inane dialogue bleats on and on through, say, 6,800,000 cycles until at last one of the partners says, “Stop! I’ll break the chain.” And the only way to do so is forgiveness: I’m SORRY. WILL YOU FORGIVE ME?
The word RESENTMENT expresses what happens if the cycle goes uninterrupted. It means, literally, “to feel again”: resentment clings to the past, relives it over and over, picks each fresh scab so that the wound never heals. This pattern doubtless began with the very first couple on earth. “Think of all the squabbles Adam and Eve must have had in the course of their nine hundred years,” wrote Martin Luther. “Eve would say, `You ate the apple,’ and Adam would retort, `You gave it to me.’”