Once upon a time, there was a man who lived with his wife, two small children, and his elderly parents in a tiny hut. He tried to be patient and gracious, but the noise and crowded conditions wore him down.
In desperation, he consulted the village wise man. “Do you have a rooster?” asked the wise man.
“Yes,” he replied.
“Keep the rooster in the hut with your family, and come see me again next week.”
The next week, the man returned and told the wise elder that living conditions were worse than ever, with the rooster crowing and making a mess of the hut. “Do you have a cow?” asked the wise elder. The man nodded fearfully. “Take your cow into the hut as well, and come see me in a week.”
Over the next several weeks, the man — on the advice of the wise elder — made room for a goat, two dogs, and his brother’s children.
Finally, he could take no more, and in a fit of anger, kicked out all the animals and guests, leaving only his wife, his children, and his parents. The home suddenly became spacious and quiet, and everyone lived happily ever after.
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Another version from http://www.saratoga-uu.org/Transcripts2.cfm?TN=serv0102
A poor man had come to the end of his rope. So he went to his rabbi for advice.
“Holy Rabbi!” he cried. “Things are in a bad way with me, and are getting worse all the time! We are poor, so poor, that my wife, my six children, my in-laws, and I have to live in a one-room hut. We get in each other’s way all the time. Our nerves are frayed, and, because we have plenty of troubles, we quarrel. Believe me – my home is a hell and I’d sooner die than continue living this way!”
The rabbi pondered the matter gravely. “My son,” he said, “promise to do as I tell you and your condition will improve.”
“I promise, Rabbi,” answered the troubled man. “I’ll do anything you say.”
“Tell me – what animals do you own?”
“I have a cow, a goat, and some chickens.”
“Very well! Go home now and take all these animals into your house to live with you.”
The poor man was dumbfounded, but since he had promised the rabbi, he went home and brought all the animals into his house.
The following day the poor man returned to the rabbi and cried, “Rabbi, what a misfortune have you brought upon me! I did as you told me and brought the animals into the house. And now what have I got? Things are worse than ever! My life is a perfect hell — the house is turned into a barn! Save me, Rabbi – help me!”
“My son,” replied the rabbi serenely, “go home and take the chickens out of your house. God will help you.”
So the poor man went home and took the chickens out of his house. But it was not long before he again came running to the rabbi.
“Holy Rabbi!” he wailed. “Help me, save me! The goat is smashing everything in the house — she’s turning my life into a nightmare.”
“Go home,” said the rabbi gently, “and take the goat out of the house. God will help you!”
The poor man returned to his house and removed the goat. But it wasn’t long before he again came running to the rabbi, lamenting loudly, “What a misfortune you’ve brought upon my head, Rabbi! The cow has turned my house into a stable! How can you expect a human being to live side by side with an animal?”
“You’re right – a hundred times right!” agreed the rabbi. “Go straight home and take the cow out of your house!”
And the poor unfortunate man hastened home and took the cow out of his house.
Not a day had passed before he came running again to the rabbi.
“Rabbi!” cried the poor man, his face beaming. “You’ve made life sweet again for me. With all the animals out, the house is so quiet, so roomy, and so clean! What a pleasure!”
(219,220, Stories of the Spirit)
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The original version at this number:
In Budapest, a man goes to the rabbi and complains, “Life is unbearable. There are nine of us living in one room. What can I do?” The rabbi answers, “Take your goat into the room with you.” The man is incredulous, but the rabbi insists. “Do as I say and come back in a week.”
A week later the man comes back looking more distraught than before. “We cannot stand it,” he tells the rabbi. “The goat is filthy.” The rabbi then tells him, “Go home and let the goat out. And come back in a week.”
A radiant man returns to the rabbi a week later, exclaiming, “Life is beautiful. We enjoy every minute of it now that there’s no goat — only the nine of us.”
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George Mikes, How to be Decadent, Andre’ Deutsch, London