It is with great pleasure that I recount how the Lord by his grace saved me. In order to present more clearly the abundant mercies of God in saving me, I believe it is necessary to share a comprehensive background of my life. I shall endeavor to accurately portray the various events that led to my spiritual birth.
I was born and raised in the cosmopolitan city of Bombay (now Mumbai), India. I come from a family of five. I am the only son of my parents, and I have two sisters, one older and one younger. My parents are Hindus, and by default, that was what I called myself when asked about my religious beliefs, prior to being born again. Both my parents received their medical degrees and practiced medicine for several years, but as ironical as it may sound, they chose to leave that profession and become entrepreneurs because it is easier to support a family as entrepreneurs in Bombay. They would have loved for any one of their three children to become a doctor, but we all had other plans.
My ambition in life, from early childhood was to become a professional Cricket player. For those who may not be familiar with ‘Cricket’, it is a game somewhat similar to Baseball. I can recall having a Cricket bat very early in life. Through my school years, I played a lot of Cricket in a non-competitive environment. With the exception of having competed in one inter-school tournament, it was only after going to college that I started participating in competitive tournaments. During my undergraduate work, my life revolved around Cricket, and I would spend between ten to twelve hours a day in training. My efforts proved worthwhile, when in the summer of 1987 I learned of my inclusion in a nationally selected under-19 Cricket team that was to tour England and Scotland. I toured again with different members of the same team the following year, and was pleased with my performance during the tour. Upon my return to India, with hopes of representing the country, I found myself not being selected to play for my local college team. This was very disheartening to me, and I started to lose hope of ever making it.
As my aspirations were dashed to the ground, I despaired, and attempted to drown my sorrow by using alcohol. My continued frustration with Cricket led me to start smoking and increase my consumption of alcohol. I was now even willing to try drugs, and on occasion, I tried to comfort myself with the drug Hashish. The music and literature of Jim Morrison and The Doors, the writings of Neitzche, and existential philosophy were also influencing me.
During this time, my friend’s mother was involved with the National Association for the Blind (NAB) in Bombay, and suggested that he and I volunteer to help the blind children. We complied with her wish and volunteered infrequently. At this time my friend suggested that we apply to ‘Camp America’, which is an international program that recruits volunteers from all over the world to work at summer camps in the United States. His idea was that we could do the same type of work and yet see a new country. Our application made it through the selection process and Camp Dogwood for the Blind, North Carolina recruited me. It is at this camp that I met my wife Emily.
It was at Camp Dogwood, that Emily first shared with me the love of the Lord Jesus. She seemed very different than the rest of the counselors to me. Most of the counselors, including myself, eagerly anticipated the end of the day when our duties ended, so that we could indulge in partying. Emily would forsake this time with other counselors to be around the campers and would frequently sit with them on the porch listening to their life’s joys and trials. I could not understand why someone would do such an unselfish thing. Her tender acts of kindness caught my eye, and I found myself being attracted to her. For reasons I can not understand, she reciprocated my feelings, and for the first time in my life I had a girlfriend.
Emily must have been backsliding as a Christian to go out with an unsaved person, but I thank the Lord that he permitted it. Even when she was not walking closely with the Lord she stood out to me as different from the rest. On several occasions she talked to me about the Lord. She even convinced me to attend church with her and I enjoyed the hymns, but could not accept the message of Jesus Christ being the only way to heaven. In fact, during one of our discussions, I distinctly remember having told Emily quite emphatically, “I will never, ever say, that Jesus Christ is the only way to God!” However, I continued to attend the morning devotions because I knew I would see her. Some campers too, had asked me if I believed in Jesus Christ as the Son of God, to which I would nonchalantly decline. Both Emily and I returned to the same camp the following summer.
My mother had always insisted that if I had exerted the same efforts towards school and college work as I had towards Cricket, I would surely succeed. With a lack of better direction and purpose, and with Emily being in the United States as an incentive, I decided to pursue a Masters degree in the United States. During my second summer at Camp Dogwood, I received news of my acceptance into the Masters program at Clarkson University, New York. I did not return to India after the camp as planned, but instead went directly to New York for my Masters program.
I did not have a scholarship to attend Clarkson University, and my parents were paying for my education. Since the Indian Rupee is much weaker than the US Dollar, the cost of education in the United States was formidable. I was keenly aware of my parents’ sacrifice in order to lavish on me the privilege of studying in the United States. In an attempt to ease their burden, I strove to obtain a graduate assistantship.
I decided to take only three courses the second semester at Clarkson, hoping to obtain a high grade point average, and thereby secure a graduate assistantship. I had a class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, each one being held late in the evening. This gave me plenty of time for introspection. Although I had had a good childhood, wonderful parents, loving sisters and friends, had traveled to various parts of the world, had the privilege of studying in the United States (in India, it is considered a great privilege to be able to ‘study abroad’), I was unhappy. I knew there had to be more to life. I began asking some basic questions like “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” and “Where am I going?” Having had a Hindu background, I immediately turned to one of the sacred Hindu books (‘Gita’) for answers. As I read the book, I found the thoughts quite profound and philosophical. However, it did not have any impact on my life. After I put the book down, it was as if I hadn’t read anything, because nothing changed in my life.
About this time, I happened to meet Heather, a Christian, over the computer network at Clarkson University. She witnessed to me about Jesus Christ, and asked me what I believed. I told her that I was very open-minded and believed all religions were a way to God. She replied, “If you are so open-minded, why don’t you read the Bible?” I complied, and she gave me her red-lettered Bible that had the words of Jesus in red. She suggested that I start with the book of John. She also invited me to a Bible study/prayer meeting, and to church. I attended the Bible study/prayer meeting one time, and decided that I would never return. Emily’s sister had also given me a book called ‘Death of a Guru’ which was about a Hindu priest giving his life to Christ.
Although I did not return to the Bible study, and tried to avoid Heather as much as possible, I continued to read the Bible. As I read it, I felt as if someone in the Bible knew my every thought, although I hadn’t shared it with anybody. When I read the word ‘hypocrite’, it was as if my name was being substituted because I did all my “works” to be seen of men (Matthew 23:5). When I gave to the poor, it was because I thought of how noble I was being in doing so, and how much better I was than the others who could care less. As I felt the words of the Bible piercing my soul, I ran across Hebrews 4:12-13 “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do”. I was convinced that there was something different about this book. Across from the page I read “…today if ye hear his voice, harden not your hearts as in the day of provocation…” It seemed to be alive, and someone in there seemed to know me in a very personal way. I seemed to agree with everything that Jesus said. Well, almost everything. When I came across John 14:6 “I am the way, the truth and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me”, I was very upset. “How could he make such an exclusive statement?!” I realized that if that statement was true, then I was certainly on my way to hell, and for that matter, almost everybody I knew was on the same path. I simply could not accept John 14:6.
About this same time Emily and I broke up on the grounds that I was not a Christian. She had promised her grandfather that she would marry someone who was definitely born again. I could not understand why she held such a strong view, especially because I accepted her religion without a problem. I was even willing to go to church with her.
Throughout the semester, I was greatly perturbed by John 14:6 and now, in addition to that, my break-up with Emily aggravated my frustration. I could not understand how Jesus could be the ONLY way! I could easily accept him as one of the ways, but I was upset that that was not what the Bible said. Also, I could not understand why Emily would not accept my then ‘Universalistic’ approach, when I accepted her religion.
One morning, as I sat on my bed, I was contemplating John 14:6, I had a gnawing unease about its meaning. I wanted to know the truth. I closed my eyes tightly shut and somewhat tauntingly asked Jesus Christ… “If you ARE the ONLY way, THE truth, and THE life, Why don’t you reveal yourself to me? … Or else I will not believe in you.” What followed is perplexing and to this day I do not understand it, neither do I think that it is crucial to do so. Nonetheless, here is a description of what ensued.
I saw myself surrounded by a glass cage that was mirror from the outside. Evil thoughts in the form of sentences were approaching this mirror “cage” from all sides. The mirror was really bright. It repelled these thoughts with amazing power. However, there was one persistent evil thought that kept attacking the mirror. (I don’t know have any knowledge of what that evil thought possibly was, but I knew it was evil.) It managed to make a small crack in the mirror, and kept increasing and widening the crack. I believed that if that particular thought broke through the mirror that my very life was endangered. At this point, I felt like someone lifted me out of this mirror cage, which was now slowly but surely cracking due to the evil force. At the same time, I saw a pair of caring hands dressed in white robes lifting a new born baby still attached to the mother’s umbilical cord about 2-3 ft. in the air. At that time, I believed the hands were Jesus’ hands. I also saw the words “propagate life”. After that I spoke to Emily about what I had seen, and she talked to her brothers and sisters about it. They suggested possible implications of such an event.
Also later in the day, I experienced something unusual. As I was reading Chapter 20: “New Life” of the book ‘Death of a Guru’, I felt like I was being drawn towards Christ. I looked out my window and watched the snowflakes gently settle on the trees. At this point I really felt like going to church or talking with Christians. But a voice inside of me said “Ashish, you are so obsessive, you will get all tied up in anything that appeals to you… first it was Cricket, then Jim Morrison and The Doors, and now it’s Jesus Christ… but this will not last long.” Then I tried to brush that thought aside, and continued reading the book. The very next sentence I read was “It is one thing to begin a Christian life with great enthusiasm, but it is something else to grow stronger daily in the faith and win others to Christ.”
I wrote a letter to the author of ‘Death of a Guru’ and asked… “Do you feel like Jesus is trying to tell me something through your book? Do you think he is knocking on the doors of my heart?” (At that time, not knowing to whom it was written, I believed that Revelation 3:20 was written specifically for me)… “If you dedicate your life toward a humanitarian cause, shouldn’t that help you attain salvation? Please recommend any books you feel appropriate, and enlighten me with your wisdom. I am hungry to know the truth”. I never heard from him, but I did decide to go to church that Sunday with Heather. She was ecstatic that I wanted to go.
That Sunday morning the preacher said that if anybody did not know Christ, and would like to know him, that they should see him after church. After the service, I made my way to him, and told him what had been happening in my life. I asked him if he understood the implications of what I had seen. He told me that he did not understand it, but what he did know, was that Jesus died for my sins. He asked me if I thought I was a sinner, to which I plainly affirmed “Of course”. He asked me if I wanted to know the forgiveness of sins through Jesus Christ, and receive the gift of eternal life by asking him to come into my heart. I had come to realize that Jesus was the way, the truth and the life, and I accepted it for what it said. I asked the Lord to forgive me my sins, and to come into my life. Leaving the church, I had the assurance that my sins were forgiven.
The pastor met with me on a weekly basis, and taught me the Scriptures. I had many questions in the Old Testament, and could not understand many things. However, I did believe that the Bible was true, and that it was the inerrant word of God. As I submitted myself to its teachings, I was convinced that I should be baptized. When I told my parents of what happened, they were very upset, and asked me to not be impulsive. They asked me not to get baptized. I asked them how long I should wait for them to know that it was not an impulsive decision, but one that I had carefully thought over, and they replied “a year.” Therefore, a year from the time that I talked to my parents, I publicly acknowledged him as my savior and invited all my friends to church. I was pleased that they came.
The Lord has since given me a better understanding of the word of God, and of things that I had no knowledge of then. It is my heart’s desire to study the riches of God’s word, and to please him and to serve him. In keeping with that goal, I have decided to study the Bible in a formal environment, where I can devote more time to it. I believe it will hold me in good stead wherever the Lord will have me serve.
Sincerely,
In Christ,
Ashish Majmundar
Bob Jones University student