Steve Hayner was a Christian leader who had been the president of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, and also president of Columbia Theological Seminary. A few years ago he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He endured extensive chemotherapy but tests showed his disease was still growing.
Hayner wrote a blog post for the many people who were praying for his healing. He commented one day:
“Many are praying for one of God’s ‘big’ miracles. We are as well. But it is not how God answers prayer that determines our response to God. God is committed to my ultimate healing. But being cured of my cancer may or may not be a part of that healing work….”
One woman told Hayner that it was disturbing to her to see so many thousands of prayers being given on his behalf and yet there was no evidence of physical healing. It made her question if God really heals, and if the amount of prayer has any special impact. To her, the unanswered prayer was a closed door from God. To Hayner, it was an open door to something far greater. [He went to the Lord on January 31, 2015]
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Adapted from “Columbia president affirms faith despite spreading cancer,” by Leslie Scanlon, The Presbyterian Outlook , July 29, 2014; < http://pres-outlook.org/2014/07/columbia-president-affirms-faith-despite-spreading-cancer/ >.
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Hayner spoke directly to the many people who have prayed for him and his family – some, knowing how aggressive the cancer was, praying specifically for a miracle of healing.
“There is a much bigger story of which this is only a tiny part,” he wrote. “And it is God’s story of love, hope, forgiveness, reconciliation, and joy. We went into this journey choosing to trust God and to offer our fears to God. We’ve been so grateful for the freedom from fear and the abundance of peace that we have experienced. There are, of course, times of discouragement, grief, pain, and wonder. After all, there are a lot of unknowns ahead of us.
“Many are praying for one of God’s ‘big’ miracles. We are as well. But it is not how God answers prayer that determines our response to God. God is committed to my ultimate healing. But being cured of my cancer may or may not be a part of that healing work.”
Before he got the results of the medical tests, Hayner wrote this about prayer:
“Of course, what we would love to see is significant healing. So many people are praying and hoping/expecting that God is going to intervene in a really spectacular way. With God, nothing is impossible, and I would certainly welcome a miraculous intervention.
“One person told me how disturbing it is to her to watch so many thousands of prayers on my behalf and yet (so far) to see a minimal of physical evidence of healing. Does God really heal? Are the ‘prayers of the righteous’ effective? Does God listen to the desires of our hearts? Does the amount of prayer have any special impact?
“Honestly, while I understand the importance and logic of questions like this–and many others–most of these questions are not ones that are important to me.
“I truly don’t know what God has planned. None of us really know what the physical symptoms of my cancer will be over time. I could receive ‘healing’ through whatever means, or I could continue to deteriorate.
“But life is about a lot more than physical health. It is measured by a lot more than medical tests and vital signs. More important than the more particular aspects of God’s work with us (in the physical, social, psychological, spiritual, mental realms of life) is God’s overall presence with us, nourishing, equipping, transforming, empowering, and sustaining us for whatever might be God’s call to my life today. TODAY, my call might be to learn something new about rest. TODAY, my call might be to encourage another person in some very tangible way. TODAY, my call might be to learn something new about patience, endurance, and the identification with those who suffer. TODAY, my call might be to mull through a new insight about God’s truth or character.
“The prayers and support of people along the way are also about God’s call to each of them (and me!) TODAY. As people pray, we are all changed, and we are all called to focus in a new way. We are all changed as individuals and as a community.
“Yes, I’m really eager to know what is happening in my body to this cancer. I’m hopeful that the report about my tumor will be a ‘good’ one and that it might portend a more physically healthy future. But whatever we find out over the next days, I am more eager that it would help me to be more attentive, more grateful, more loving, more joyful and more gracious.
“I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that I loved: ‘More wagging; less barking!’ At that moment I was grumbling inside because it was so hard just to complete my short walk in the neighborhood. But almost immediately my perspective changed. Grumbling was changing nothing, but a fresh infusion of joy could color the world.”
In his most recent post, Hayner wrote that he was beginning a new chemotherapy regimen on July 30, with the hope that it would slow the spread of the cancer without too many side effects or robbing him of energy. “We’ll see,” he wrote adding that he and Sharol are focusing on projects including the remodeling of the house they own in Decatur (the Hayners currently live in the Columbia seminary president’s house), which “will be a great place for Sharol to live in the years ahead.”
He also wrote that he’s not taking on projects that some others may be expecting of him – including writing a book, which several people have suggested to him (“and they have a lot of opinions on what they would like me to write about”). Hayner said the idea of writing does not bring him joy – he wants to focus on other tasks instead, such as the remodeling; seeing friends and colleagues from the Columbia community; and “giving away my library in creative and productive ways.”
He remains committed to “a number of deep human and global concerns for which I want to do my part in helping with the healing. As I have indicated before, there is a kind of daily ‘calling’ to which I want to be attentive. Some days this will include more active options, while other days I will likely only have energy for quieter possibilities.”
He closed by quoting the poet e. e. cummings: “I thank you God for most this amazing day…”
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[Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #2078]