The adopted family, not the nuclear family, is the New Testament model, according to Diana Garland, who recently resigned from the Carver School of Social Work at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Louisville, Kentucky.
“It is the job of the church to cut across boundaries of blood and marriage and define family the way the Bible defines it, not as culture does,” she told the governing board of the Texas Baptist Christian Life Commission.
Garland led members of the Texas CLC in an examination of Jesus’ teachings on family at their April 18-19 quarterly meeting near Dallas. At that meeting, the commission adopted a comprehensive proposal to enhance family life in Texas.
“All of God’s children need family. We are created not to be alone. Jesus linked the people he loved into family in a new way,” she said.
Garland took Jesus’ words from the cross commending his mother to the care of the apostle John and his special relationship with Mary, Martha and Lazarus as examples of family formation.
“Jesus did not sit down on the hillside and talk to us about how to be family. Sometimes I wish he had. But what he did was model it for us. And that is more powerful,” she said.
Shared faith creates stronger family ties than bloodlines, Garland said. Pointing to Jesus’ words in Matthew 12 regarding his own mother and siblings and the wider family of God, she noted, “Jesus doesn’t paint them
out. He’s widening the circle, breaking the bounds. He is saying that family is not limited to biological and legal kinfolk.
“The New Testament model is not the nuclear family. It is the adopted family. In God’s kingdom, nobody has to be alone. Family transcends kinship for us.”
Garland drew a distinction between universal “neighbor love” and the special love that exists within families. While Christians are called to love their neighbors unconditionally, expecting nothing in return, family love makes demands and confronts conflict.
“Family is based on covenant, and that is mutual,” she said.
Strengthening families is central to the church’s task in evangelism and ministry, Garland said. “It is the church’s job to seek out lonely — to mend families that need mending,” she said.
Specifically, Garland said churches should:
• Foster “family” relationships among groups of 15 to 20 people within the larger family of faith. “Strengthen families by building community around them,” she said. “We need to be about the task of making sure there is nobody alone.”
• Find ways to recognize and celebrate family ties as they are biblically defined.
• Give families the tools for facing conflict and life’s struggles together.