Brian Bowman was starting a church in a suburb of Phoenix, Arizona. He knew that outreach was critical and used every opportunity he could to share the gospel. Even sensitive topics were not out of bounds.
One young man who visited his church was Wes Sanders.
“At the time, there were only about 50 of us, so it was easy to tell he was new,” Bowman recalled. “I said, ‘Hey, really glad you are here. I’d like to get coffee with you sometime.’ Wes told him, ‘I want to bring my girlfriend Tiffany next Sunday. Maybe we all can talk then.’”
Over coffee the next week, Bowman realized Wes and Tiffany were unmarried but living together.
As he shared the gospel with them, Wes told Bowman, “I’m a Christian. I grew up in church.” When Bowman asked Tiffany if she had any questions about what she heard, she replied, “I’ve never been to church before, but from what I understand Wes thinks I’m going to hell. And you think I’m going to hell. My question is, if you think I’m going to hell and Wes thinks I’m going to hell, how come Wes and I are sleeping together?”
Bowman let an awkward silence settle in before turning to Wes and saying, “Wes, would you like to answer that question?”
Out of that awkward moment over coffee, Tiffany later accepted Christ and was baptized. She and Wes stopped living together until they could marry — the first wedding Bowman conducted in their new building. The couple are now serving as co-leaders of a new spin-off congregation.
“A church planter runs toward lostness,” Bowman said. “If you can’t deal with the awkward Wes and Tiffany conversation, you need to figure out something else. A planter’s got to be happy to get deeper into those conversations.”
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Mark Kelly is a freelance writer in Marietta, Georgia. Adapted by Rev. David Holwick.