You may have encountered the writings of St. Augustine if you have ever taken a class in philosophy, theology, literature, or rhetoric. If you asked a group of scholars to name those who have been most influential in Western thought, Augustine’s name would inevitably make the short list. Augustine served as bishop of Hippo (located in present day Algeria), participated in some of the most crucial theological debates the church has ever known, and wrote prolifically.
In spite of all his accomplishments, his autobiography, Confessions , quickly undeceives the reader who may suspect that he walked with his head in the clouds. Augustine was as human as they come, and throughout his life he struggled with his flesh. In his early adolescence he famously prayed, “Grant me chastity and continence, but not yet.”(1) He was a young man with the world at his fingertips. He was a student of rhetoric who, in his own words, aspired to “honors, money [and] marriage.” He became enamored with a succession of different philosophies. In each new philosophy (as in each new mistress) he sought the key to the happiness for which his heart yearned. Yet he writes to God, “In those ambitions I suffered the bitterest difficulties; that was by your mercy — so much the greater in that you gave me the less occasion to find sweet pleasure in what was not you.”(2)
Augustine had long been aware of his sin. As a teenager, he and his friends had stolen an armload of pears from their neighbor’s pear tree. The pears were not tasty and the boys were not hungry. Augustine knew in his heart that he did it for the sheer pleasure of stealing. As Augustine matured and discovered again and again the emptiness of all that the world had to offer (be it wisdom or sensuality), the burden of his guilt weighed upon him. Augustine, who had become a professor of rhetoric and stood poised to launch a political career, began paying attention to the sermons of Bishop Ambrose of Milan. Ambrose helped Augustine resolve any intellectual reservations he had about the Christian faith. But still, Augustine struggled with his flesh, unwilling to surrender his passions to God.
In his conversion narrative, Augustine writes, “The tumult of my heart took me out into the garden where no one could interfere with the burning struggle with myself in which I was engaged….I threw myself down somehow under a certain fig tree, and let my tears flow freely.”(3) As he cried out to God, he heard the voice of a young child chanting “Tolle lege, tolle lege,” which in Latin means “pick up and read.” He did not know what game the child was playing or what they meant by this phrase, but writes, “I interpreted it solely as a divine command to me to open the book and read the first chapter I might find.”(4) He had been reading the book of Romans, and when he opened it, the words he read were “Not in riots and drunken parties, not in eroticism and indecencies, not in strife and rivalry, but put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh in its lusts” (Romans 13:13-14). From that moment on, Augustine committed himself to resisting his own lusts in pursuit of God.
Augustine’s writings deal with so many themes it seems impossible to choose just one to highlight. In the Confessions, however, the theme of the soul and its delights stands out. Because he had for so long served so many idols, Augustine realized that his pursuit of pleasure needed to be completely overhauled. In understanding Augustine, it is vital to understand that he did not cease pursuing pleasure. He did not become a joyless prude or a self-righteous ascetic. He became one who realized that lasting joy can only be found in God, and it is the duty of our whole life to seek our joy in Him. The moment under the fig tree was not the end of his search for pleasure; it was the beginning. On the first page of his Confessions, Augustine sums up the story of his life, saying to God: “You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in thee.”
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1. Augustine, Confessions, Book VIII,17.
2. Ibid., Book VI, 9.
3. Ibid., Book VIII, 19-28.
4. Ibid., Book VIII, 29.
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Copyright © 2004 Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM). Reprinted with permission. “A Slice of Infinity” is a radio ministry of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries.