A Truthful Wedding Announcement

Some years ago, the Clinton, South Carolina, Chronicle, carried this article in the society section:
Mr. Jim Galeway and Miss Georgianne Bentlow were married Monday at the home of the bride’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Alex Bentlow, the Rev. A. A. Deckett officiating. The groom hasn’t done a lick of work since he got expelled from junior college. He manages to dress well and keeps a supply of spending money because his dad is a soft-hearted old fool who takes up his bad checks instead of letting him go to jail where he belongs.

The bride is a skinny, fast little hussy, who has run around with every boy in town since she was 12 years old. She sucks cigarettes and drinks mean corn liquor when she is out joy-riding in her dad’s car at night. She doesn’t know how to cook, sew or keep house.

The house was newly plastered for the wedding and the exterior newly painted, thus carrying out the decorative scheme, for the groom was newly plastered and the bride freshly painted…

P.S. This is probably the last issue of this paper, but my life ambition has been to write up one wedding and tell the truth. Now that it’s done, death can have no sting.
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Quoted by Ross W. Marrs, in THE CLERGY JOURNAL, January, 1980, p. 22.

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[Original illustration at this number was added to HolwickID #386]