Bonnie Brady of Ledgewood, New Jersey, wrote this note to her son T.J. soon after he got his driver’s license:
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As you began a lifetime of driving there are a few things you should know. As your mother, I fear for you! There are so many things you don’t know. I wish I could inject you with my experience. Do you know how to avoid “black ice”? Do you know how to avoid peer pressure – not to speed, not to drink and drive? Do you know how important you are to me? Do you know that if you are hurt – I am hurt. If you bleed – I bleed. If you die – I die.
Take care – be careful – you have a role to fill on life’s stage – I need to see you finish what I’ve started.
A car is a wonderful thing – It is the first step to independence, freedom and young adulthood. Take care with these responsibilities as they can be deadly – a car is not a toy but a wonderful necessity – it symbolizes freedom, independence and adulthood. I know you are ready for these things but I am not so sure that I am. Please be careful – I love you with my whole soul and I need to know that you will survive the teen years so that I can enjoy you as an adult.
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Looking back, Bonnie said, “All my deepest fears were in that letter. I realized he was on the brink of so many wonderful things — independence and college. I was going to type the note, put it on his dashboard with a new key chain this week.”
T.J. never saw the note. He and his best friend Pat Milde died in a car accident on January 14, 2001, on Emmans Road in Roxbury Township, New Jersey, about one mile from T.J.’s home. They had had their licenses 40 days. (T.J. was not driving)